The adaptation is killing me. The acceptance is even worse. Anxiety is through the roof. Acceptance of what is has become unacceptable. I shake my head at it all, vigorously and without a doubt.
I know what should be and this isn’t it. The angst and worry do not belong here. They do not belong within this body nor mind. Yet, here they sit slowly digging their way and creating a comfortable home within me.
As I slowly try and shake these tenants out, I begin to write my eviction notice. YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE!!!
Here’s how it works. Every morning I lay there in the bed speaking to God or for others a higher power. Enlightening him on my thoughts and thanking him for another day. He keeps me alive for a reason right.
I keep up and keep the positivity in my mind and continue about my day. If I focus on the positive my day will be great. If I work harder towards my project my dreams and manifestation will come to fruition.
Then there are days where I wake up have a full conversation with him and dread getting up. Taking a peek at my past and all that has bought me to my sorrows. All the strength I had and powers I felt I possessed felt as if they were striped from me. From my soul.
Now it’s a constant battle of, “Sip you got this!” Or “Just give up girl. You failed a long time ago!”
Yet, I prefer, “Sip you got this!”
Why? Because, I was raised to never give up. You may move on but never give up because the day you give up is the day that you may have missed your blessing.
So here I write to remind myself, “Sip, you got this!”
Beautiful soul, beautiful girl. Worry less about what tomorrow will bring and be present in the moment. Enjoy the simple laughter that echoes through your own voice as joy fills the air. Right here, right now is where you ought to be. Fearless of what the future may hold as it is never promised. Be here! Be present! Become a believer in yourself and all the good around you. Beautiful soul smile a little more as your smile is what lights up the room and turns gloom into sunshine. Beautiful soul, become the sunshine in the storm and live for right now. Love passionately and forgive often. Never allow doubt and fear interfere with your present days. My beautiful soul, how I wish you’d hear these words. Then maybe so, you’d smile a little more.
I’ve always wanted to ask you this one question. So now I’ll just respond to the question as if you were asking me.
What is it you ask? Well it’s the way you look at me. As if I have your full attention. The way you touch me,
You know every inch of me and it excites me. I love how you randomly touch me, as a sign of reassurance that you’re right by my side.
Our conversations brighten my thoughts of the many adventures I wanted to take with you, and only you.
My mind would get lost in the stories you’d tell me about your family. I’d imagine myself there and picture every moment you mentioned.
I simply enjoyed you. From your music selection to our random nights at the pool. Better yet, the nights you’d just kiss me on my lips.
My biggest joy was seeing you happy. When you were happy, so was I. My heart beamed!
There’s so much more…
Loving you was was the easy part. Loving you came natural and each day I thought of better ways to show you how much I loved you. Each day bought sunshine to my heart and made my days go by faster knowing you were by my side. Loving you was easy.
Keeping you on the other hand, that was difficult. I couldn’t change your ways and I didn’t want to. There was a fire within you that I seemed to never want to put out. You were the pilot to my heat and I was sprung. It was never lust, always love.
Loving you came natural but, keeping you was the hardest part of maintaining our happiness. As hard as I fought it was never my decision to make. But, if I could do it all over again I’d love you a little harder because sometimes a little more love goes a long way.
There I sat in silence listening to the conversations of the night as the wind whispered through my screened window. At night while all the world is dreaming their best dreams, I sat up and listened to the sounds that would create the words I write or the stories I desire to tell.
Tonight I listen as cars pass through the street faster than their limit. Music blaring out of a car’s windows. A female’s laughter filling the air and the sound of my fingers pressing on the keyboard.
As I listen I think. I think of all the love stories I have yet to create and all the pain that sits within me. As I write I listen as the night transforms into a mysterious world of life, love and laughter.
Wake up! Snap out of it!
You have a world ahead of you and nothing to stop you but yourself.
If there’s someone you love cheering you on thank them and let that person know everyday how much you love them.
Life is funny but, love will help you through it.
Conquer the day and conquer your life.