Monthly Archives: January 2018

Star bright.

I’d stare at the stars and smile.

Looked at the moon and understood that you’re presence was undeniably missed. You’re smile and your laugh was needed to light up the sky.

So there you are and here I am. In different places yet, together within our hearts.

I’ll stare at the stars and smile as you’re closer than I know.




It is like an endless path. Not finding the end of the road becomes draining to the body and soul. Is it all worth it? Will the end of the path be all that you’ve imagined?

The thrill comes from the unknown, the fear comes from the unknown. Yet, we were not born with the feeling of fear. That trait was instilled within us by society and what we allow ourselves to believe.

Fear is a deadly weapon. It can consume you and cause a ripple effect of negativity if you allow it to burden your life.

Seek truth and faith. Have hope and move as if all the world is conspiring to give you what you desire.

“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire!”


I am thankful

Cat n Mouse

I’m like a little mouse and you’re the cat.

You always seem to find me. On my happiest moments and you catch me. Like cheese on a trap.

Damn, it sounds like a rat but listen to the story.

You’ve gotten me and you simply play games with me. Play with me and let me go. But, you only let me go as far as you can catch me.

So, as you disrespect me. I sit still and watch. I don’t mention much but, I know.

So you simply play Tom and Jerry with me. You catch me. Love me. And let me go to torture me again.

Yet when you see me happy you want to destroy it. All the way!


I run. That’s who I am. I’m a runner.

My first heart break, I ran. Became a flight attendant and left my home.

Second heartbreak I fled mentally and physically. I never thought heartache could occur multiple times. I was too optimistic and too positive. My first I thought of as an experience to learn.

This second one tore me apart.

My final heartbreak I gave it all away. Every piece of materialism I owned I gave away and ran away once more.

Now I sit alone, with just my thoughts. The one thing I can never get rid off.

Alone on a bench contemplating how was I able to make such decisions and continue to live. Continue to place one foot forward each and everyday.

Must have been the ambition I once had. The will to do better and the drive to make life better and not allow the heartbreak to ruin me.

But, I was wrong. I allowed it to crush me and now I am fighting to get out. Mentally, emotionally and physically.

Each day I just go by the functions instead of trying to live again. Instead of trying to find that light everyone took for granted.

Like a lost puppy I try to find my way. All I know is that my mind continuously tells me to write. But, write about what? I consistently ask myself.

All I’ve every known was to write and read and it’s all I never ran away from.

My words, my writing.


In contemplation I stood there then began to walk. I walked close and closer until I felt the waves on my toes.

Inch by inch the waves came closer and I approached it without fear.

With all the weight in the world I proceeded forward into the ocean.

As the coldness of the salted water created shivers down my spine I did not stop.

I took a deep breath and exhaled it all.

I continued to walk until the ocean’s waves seemed taller than the Empire State.

I walked until I no longer could. Soon I allowed the ocean to wash me out.

Wash me of my sins and the existence of this world.

My final exhale and my final moments were more clear than the ramblings of this world.

And there I layed still allowing whatever metaphoric meaning of the ocean I have to take me away.

Which is it?

Is true love the way we see it on television?

They hold hands, he opens the door for her all the time, his eyes light up when he sees you and his smile is from ear to ear.

Or is love the way you experience it?

He’s constantly on your mind. You can’t help but think of all the amazing moments you’ve had. You’re sad to think of all that went wrong. You smile when you look into his eyes. Your body warms up at his presence. You pray for him.

Love is your life experiences. Only you can understand and feel your own true love.

Life is life and love is love.