I used to smile when I had you by my sided. I was proud to have you right next to me.
I spoke of you with love in my heart. You took over my being and I wanted to spend every moment of my life with you. Then, life took a turn and you began to change. You kept secrets. Secrets that once they surfaced changed my attitude on you and our lives together.
Never were we allowed to witness what greatness we could become because you changed your love for me. You instilled fear in our relationship. Fear of disappointing you and fear of upsetting you. I constantly felt as if I was walking on egg shells yet, I still wanted you by my side because there was something in your eyes. Something in the way you’d kiss me when I got a chance to taste your lips.
I was oblivious to what you were doing behind my back because I LOVED you. It hurt when you left cold turkey. It hurt when I was no longer able to communicate with you. When you just disappeared off the face of this earth. But, I stupidly assumed you were having a moment and you’d be back in a day or two. Those days turned into weeks and through social media I saw you found new love.
Through my own family asking me what happened to that man you were in love with. Asking me why you were holding onto another woman who was not me all over the internet. The biggest disrespect in the world.
You wonder how it felt?? Ever shatter a piece of glass? Ever felt as if your heart was pulled right out of your body and it no long had a beat? That feeling of anxiety that cause your eyes to swell up with rivers of tears.
You told me you loved me and some how it all changed and I was oblivious to the signs because my love was sincere and truthful. I no longer know if there was ever true loved from yourself. All I know is that you existed some way or another and now you belong to her.
There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t communicate with you, I could not call you, I could not email or text you.
You took a piece of me that I will never get back and I have to return to mend the shattered pieces on my own.
Never wanting to live with hate in my heart I took a deep breath and let you go.
I forgive you, I love you, God Bless you!