I was oblivious to the world…..
They all stood there but I did not feel anyone’s presence, not even his.
I sat there eyes blood shot red, mind racing and death in hand.
Everyone watched as I pulled the clip out of death and cocked it back as if I knew what I was doing.
Quickly he came and took it away from me.Quickly he asked me if I was ok. My response, none.
I got up, put death down and continued on with the night. I wanted to leave, to escape but I could not get home. I was lost in a maze and realized that I was not afraid of death. I was not afraid to take it and use it. That right there scared the shit out of me.
The next morning when I woke up all I could think about was death and how I easily cocked it back as if it belonged to me. I could have ruined so many lives, yet all I cared about at that moment was whether or not if I took a chance with death if I would be able to see my angel.
After that night I realized that I was not afraid of death. I was not in the right state of mind but, I was not afraid to cock death back and use it.
I prayed and prayed about it apologizing because never ever would I take death into my own hands. It’s not my right.