Everyone is placed into your life for a reason.
You were my guilty pleasure at first, then gradually you became someone I wanted to present to the world as my one and only….
The way your eyes looked into mine excited my entire body…. I wanted the world to know that you were mine and I wanted to be by your side 24/7…
Yet, on a beautiful sunny day you became my nemesis.
You stole a piece of my soul, a part of my joy and tarnished it…
I am forever branded by you, forever tarnished by evil in disguise…
Evil disguised by kind words, a gentle hand, and a stare that I will never forget…
You were placed into my life to realize that I no longer can live in the clouds…
I no longer can just trust kind gestures….
A piece of my soul was taken and my lesson learned was to build a larger wall…
A wall large enough where no one can no longer enter and I shall just continue to dream that love is out there and meant for all but myself…
Everyone in placed into your life for a reason, I was placed into your life to show you how much you were adored by me. How much I treasured every encounter with you….
For now those placed in my life will continue to knock or try to climb this wall.
Sheltered I shall be until someone is able to show me something different….
I’m trying, trying hard to remain here.
Every time I see your light itsnrippednright out of me.
My energy is running thin, my soul is weary. I’m tired.
You know I’m a fighter but, it’s getting difficult. I just want to close my eyes and be by your side.
On my knees I ask that you have mercy on me. I ask that you show me something different.
This world is evil and I don’t like it. As much love as I try to it nothing changes.
I’m running out.
I’m getting tired.
I don’t want to give up because so many will hate me if I do.
I just ask that you shed a glance of light on me. A speck will do.
These demons got me and I’m trying, oh Lord I’m trying.
Dear Lord, help me.
Quick check out!
Look in the mirror, You’re amazing….
Smile, your days are brighter…
Get dressed with confidence, you’re shinning…
Before you walk out the door thank the Lord, he’s got your back…
Quick check out, believe in yourself more than others…
Unaware yet created with half love you grew inside me. Thoughts of who, what, when, where, how and why raced through my mind.
You see, I thought the feelings were mutual. I assumed you’d be created with full bliss and nothing but an abundance of love but, I was wrong.
Unaware, yet created with half love you grew.
I could not bare the thought or idea that you would ask why. That you would question so many things in life when all I wanted to do was show you the other half of love you were missing.
Unaware that your other half did not have mutual feelings. I was unaware that I would be sitting here signing these papers.
There you grew with half my love, and I could not accept it.
I could not allow you to come and question why I fell so deeply and had no clue.
So there I sat and waited.
Hours later I left and said good bye.
Unaware that you were created with half love I felt you and had to let you go.
Unaware of my actions he never knew.
I was oblivious to the world…..
They all stood there but I did not feel anyone’s presence, not even his.
I sat there eyes blood shot red, mind racing and death in hand.
Everyone watched as I pulled the clip out of death and cocked it back as if I knew what I was doing.
Quickly he came and took it away from me.Quickly he asked me if I was ok. My response, none.
I got up, put death down and continued on with the night. I wanted to leave, to escape but I could not get home. I was lost in a maze and realized that I was not afraid of death. I was not afraid to take it and use it. That right there scared the shit out of me.
The next morning when I woke up all I could think about was death and how I easily cocked it back as if it belonged to me. I could have ruined so many lives, yet all I cared about at that moment was whether or not if I took a chance with death if I would be able to see my angel.
After that night I realized that I was not afraid of death. I was not in the right state of mind but, I was not afraid to cock death back and use it.
I prayed and prayed about it apologizing because never ever would I take death into my own hands. It’s not my right.
If you want to be with a rose, you must be able to handle her thorns.
These thorns are not her attitude because she’s as delicate as the petals. These thorns are the barriers that have evolved her into the hard beauty she is now.
Those thorns symbolize the hurt, tears and loss she has been through.
If you want to be with a rose you must be able to handle her thorns. With a few pricks comes the beauty and love that is waiting to be shared.
I don’t know how to kiss, he said.
Why? It’s one of the best feelings in the world. I will teach you!
He simply looked at me in the eyes and smiled. It was as if he were shocked that I would be so helpful or nice. Little did he know that I wanted to kiss him.
Little did he know that the butterflies inside of me were fluttering with joy.
The next night I waited his arrival and as he opened the back door. I jumped on him and laid one right on his lips. I felt his smile on my lips and it excited me.
Slowly I moved my lips over his and told him to follow my mouth. His lips were the perfect match to mine. They moved in sync with one another.
After the first experience he was an expert and couldn’t wait to link our lips together again.
And I would.
I taught him how to feel my energy with my lips. I taught him how to feel so euphoric only by kissing.
I made him happy and that’s all I seeked.