I am afraid. I live in fear everyday. Fear that I will not progress in life. Fear that I will not make everyone happy. I am afraid to open my door and change it all.
I was bold, outgoing and ready to take on the world. I would look at all my obstacles in life and smile at them because I USED to have all this confidence and belief that it would all come together, I just had to believe.
As I’ve gotten older things have changed within me, in the emotional and mental aspect. I second guess all of my decisions when I know if I remove this fear and step out on faith everything in life would be better. Faith, I have trust me but, this fear I just have not been able to shake it off for the past two years.
No longer do I want to be afraid and no longer do I want to second guess my decisions due to fear. I was not born with fear instilled in me. I was born with a light and boldness and I am not longer following who I truly am. But, how??
When I lost you, I lost my boldness. I lost my courage, my willingness to just go out and do it. It has even become so difficult for me to write. I lost a part of my soul when you left this earth and became afraid of moving forward.
I do not blame this on you, I just do not function the same without you. I’ve had to learn how to live with you in my heart and not in the physical.
Today, on December, 9, 2015 I will no longer be afraid. I will begin to step out on faith and feel your presence within me. I will just boldly do it and enjoy every opportunity and moment I can. Cheers to a new beginning and loving life again.
Fear is the devil’s way of holding you back and I do not want to sit behind a glass house and watch life pass me by. I’m going to take this brick right beside me and shatter this glass house, allowing all light to shine upon me.
Suck my D*** fear!!