Monthly Archives: August 2014

What Drives you??

I was asked, what drives you??

Shit, I had no idea how to answer. Lately I’ve just been in a rough spot trying to get out of it. I used to do it all for my family. For my parents but now, now I can’t. I can’t even do it for myself.

All I know is that every morning I wake up with an urge to write. Wrote whatever is on my mind with hopes that I can turn my scramble into a best seller. Other than that I have no other motivation.

When my siblings were younger I did everything and anything for them. Now that they have grown and found their place I’m sort of feeling a little lost. I no longer have any motivation. They say that you should be your only motivation but I don’t see it.

I don’t even know what I see myself doing in five years. If this is a midlife crisis get me out ASAP because its the worst feeling in the world. I’ve already been through enough can a girl catch a break???

Granted, there are others suffering more than I am but this is cray! It feels like everything I touch or try gets infected and doesn’t thrive at all. Maybe it’s time for me to pack up and leave, but where would I go?

I do not want to head back home. Yes my family is there but the city itself makes me so depressed. Whenever I’m there I just want to stay home.

I don’t know what happened. My life was going pretty well and then at the link of an eye everything just fell apart. It’s been a struggle since then to pick up the pieces and place them together.

Maybe in a few months I’ll be able to answer that question correctly.

What drives you???


ACTS of Prayer

Ever wonder if prayer is good enough? Ever wonder if there is anything else you can do so that The Lord can hear your cries. So you can truly have a connection with him.

Well, there is. There is a way to pray and a way to live life so you can become closer to God.

I honestly look forward to Sundays. I look forward to standing in my church and singing and actually listen to what my pastor has to say. Why? Because what life has thrown at me would have some people sick but, I turned to The Lord.

Today, we learned that we can not just kneel there and ask God for everything. We actually have to take action as we pray. For example, we can not pray to get a job and just sit on the couch waiting for a phone call telling you that you’ve been hired. You, yourself have to put in the effort also.

God doesn’t make it easy because he wants you to instill your all to him.

Christ should be the center of our lives.

John 15:5 states: “I am the vine, and you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will bear much fruit; for you can do nothing without me. (GNT)

We must pray in faith. We can’t just pray expecting everything to just appear. We have to believe and have faith in The Lord. Faith that he can and will turn out lives around.

John 15:7: If you remain in me and my words remain in you, then you will ask for anything you wish, and you shall have it. (GNT)

It should be you in him and his word in you.

As long as you believe and place his words into your everyday life you will see your circumstances change. You will see that your desires will come gradually.

John 8:31-32: So Jesus said to those who believed in him, “If you obey my teaching, you are really my disciples; you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (GNT)

When we pray and ask we have to ask rightly. We can’t just continuously ask to win the lottery.

We should have the right priorities. (His will)
Right premise. (His word)
Right purpose. (Bearing fruit)

How is what you’re asking for going to benefit not only yourself but others around you.

Mathew 6:33: Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you will all these other things. (GNT)

Find your purpose in life. Share the word of The Lord.

2 Corinthians 9:8: And God is able to give you more than you need, o that you will always have all you need for yourselves and more than enough for every good cause. (GNT)

Many of the questions you ask yourself about life can me answered within the word of The Lord. So take your time when you pray and go in with it with an open mind.

The ACTS of prayer:
A: approach prayer with ADORATION.
C: CONFESS to The Lord.
T: Give him THANKS (Thessalonians 5:18: Be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus (GNT)).
S: SUPPLICATION. Humbly and honestly ask The Lord for what you desire.

I share my connection with The Lord in hopes that it helps someone as much as it has helped me. Sometimes we just need a little push or to open our eyes.

Have a blessed one.

Inter-wear woos….

What do you wear when you go to a job interview? What do you wear when you go out to pick up an application? This morning I woke up a little stumped at this question. I wasn’t sure if I was overly dressed to just drop off my resume or if I was dressed just right.

With that said I did a little research and to all you ladies looking for a J O B here are some styling tips:

I’ve learned ladies that your skirt should be no more that 2″ above the knee. Anything above 2″ is just inappropriate. Same goes with dresses.

If you want to go sleeveless try a cap sleeve or wear a nice blazer over your shirt. Now I know some women have been blessed up their but let’s refrain from letting the kids come out and play. You want eye contact not, breast contact.

If you have tattoos cover them up. This may sound wrong but it’s not trust me. I have three tattoos and still want more but, what I’ve noticed is that the one on my décolleté gives the wrong impression. It’s a small arrow with a lot of meaning behind it for me. To avoid judgement I cover it up.

Keep the make up clean. No dark eyeshadow as if you’re heading out to a night club. Unless you’re apply to a night club. Mascara, blush and a beautiful subtle lipstick will do.

Comb your hair!!!! No one wants to speak to someone with who can not even put a comb through their hair.

Toes and nails should be clipped and groomed. If you’re going to wear open toes shoes make sure you put some lotion on. Double check and make sure there are no chips either.

I’ve found out that the best stores for interview clothes have been at The Limited, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft, J. Crew, H&M and all department stores. I always shop in the sale sections and come out WINNING!!

I know everything sounds crazy but the first thing a manager or some from HR sees is you! You want to make a great impression because unfortunately, your physical appearance does matter.

Below are a few photos that I found of outfits I feel are appropriate for interviews. Now please remember that this is just my thoughts. If I am wrong about this I apologize.









It’s 2014 and counting. I am a 30 year old single female who is just taking life one step at a time. Which is all I can doing considering my circumstances.

Now I may be single but, I am far from simple. Here’s how this story goes and please let me know if this is what it has come down to.

After a great dinner that my best friend, her sister and I provided for the guys we all decided to head out for a walk. More like take the dogs out and walk off a little of the amazing chicken parmesan the ladies created.

As we all walked and talked we walk by a group of young men standing in front of a navy blue Dodge Charger. Of course, my best friend is married and her sister engaged. It was as if they could smell single on me! Or, maybe it was the fact that I had no ring on my finger and I was the only one wearing shorts. To my defense it was hot out and I had sneakers on.

The conversation continued and one of the young fellows decides to approach me. He started really smooth with, “hey, what type of dog do you have?”

I simply replied with the type of dog and he proceeded to tell me that he had three dogs.. Three different breeds. I continued the conversation as we kept on walking. Yes, I made him take a walk with us.

First, I would like to say the young man was young. A bit too young for my taste but I enlightened him by simply answering his questions and engaging with him.

The kicker came when he realized how far he walked with me and my gang. He soon stopped and instead of saying something as simple as asking for my number or wanting to take me out he asked for my Instagram!!!

“Do you have an Instagram??”

I laughed at his question and lied. Yes! I lied and said no. Simply because I didn’t want him to know me by my photos and because it was such a young question to ask.

When I replied with a no he walked away yelling, “Don’t forget to check out Ride Along 2!”

To my surprise he must have been acting in the up coming movie as they are filming it here in Atlanta. If I were a thirsty person I would have quickly turned around and follow him to see what he meant by that. But, I simply said ok and proceeded on my route with my friends.

His line was, “Do you have an Instagram??”

I guess this day in age I need to start my pick up lines asking what part of social media the individual is in. Check out their sight before I decide if I want to engage with them some more. It just cracked me up. I know he was young but, whatever happened to parents teaching their kids how to pick up a lady?

Has the game become so naive that women do not care how they are approached. That they simply just respond with a yes! And give the guy what he wants?

I know maybe I’m tripping because he was young. Maybe I’m tripping because I thought it was hilarious but, come on! If a man approached you with a, “Hey girl… You’re beautiful. What’s your Instagram?”

What if you don’t have one. Will he continue the conversation or consider you boring?

And if you do… A picture tells a thousand words and you never know the true meaning behind it. Will he look through your photos and think the total opposite of the meaning behind your post and never speak to to again?

To play it safe I always say no. Although I’m starting the “relationship” with a lie I want to get to know the person first. On a personal level especially before I dare give out my social media.

He was a nice young boy who will eventually find that nice young girl that will share her Instagram with him. But, I guess I was not savvy enough or “hip” enough for him.

All in all it was a great night….

No longer….

She learned the hard way that following her heart no longer existed. She learned that the more she chased the further away it got and the more her heart ached. So she made a brass decision, she would no longer follow her heart. She would no longer allow it to beat the way it beat whenever she looked into his eyes.

Her heart became cold and she became a mystery. No longer wanting to spread her wings with fear that once again they would get clipped. It was as if she gave up on the one true thing she believed in. She became exhausted at holding on to matters of her heart. Allowing darkness to overcome her she became a mystery. Existing through life, no longer living.



On May 2, 2014 my 22 year old brother was murdered. Shot in the head and killed.

He never had a chance to react because it happened so fast. I yet have a chance to accept it because it happened so soon.

The police knew who did it and never made an arrest because the didn’t have enough, “circumstantial evidence.”

On July 2, 2014 the police had finally put out an arrest warrant for the murderer. Two months too late I think!

This gave the family ample time to run away and hide their son.

So here I go…. To anyone who reads my blog or just skims through it I ask if you have ever seen this killer please please call your local police department.

I’ve lost my will to write. I’ve lost a part of my heart and soul. I’ve lost so much energy. But, my niece keeps me pulling forward. You see my brother left a legacy, Hazelynn Rodriguez. I must and I pray each day for strength to go by each and everyday without a breakdown.

I beg you all to call your local authorities!!



I used to

I used to smile a lot but, now I smile a lot less.

I used to laugh a lot more but, now I just sit in silence.

I used to be so optimistic but, now I’ve become so realistic.

The old me was a happier person with ambition but, now the new me is saddened with discouragement.

Life took a toll on me and as much as I jump these hurdles I seem to be loosing my breath. Afraid that I’m going to stumble on the next one and not be able to get up.

I used to be a lot of things but, now I’m just sad.