Monthly Archives: April 2014

Give up….

The worst feeling is when you feel alone in a relationship. When there are two yet, only one is doing all the work. It all started great just like any new relationship but as time moved on and personalities began to clash nothing would be resolved.

He’d just walk away from the situation instead of talking about it and figuring out a solution. The relationship becomes harder and harder to be in when you see that your love being taken advantage of. You begin to doubt yourself and wonder if it’s you.

You begin to give up.

You’d follow this person to the ends of the world but what would be the point. Would he realize that you’re there for him and nothing else? Would he realize thar he’s the one you love? Or, is it too late. Has he already moved on.

All of this runs through your mind and he’s still silent. He won’t say anything.

You begin to give up.

Love isn’t enough when it’s only given by one. It isn’t enough when it’s not being reciprocated.

You want to shake him, smack him, do whatever you can to make him realize what he means to you. All of those actions will not matter to him because he’s blinded by something.

You begin to give up.

You finally learn the hard way. After you’ve exhausted all your love you finally give up and walk away. Now you have to try and rebuild yourself. You have figure out how to┬álove yourself.

You give up and walk away….


Hug me

That feeling when you’ve been gone for so long and you come home to receive that hug from the ones you love. The hug that makes you feel like the world has stopped and it’s just you and your loved ones. Upon receiving that hug you take a deep breath and just exhale as if all the worries of the world no longer matter for that brief moment.

One of those hugs is what I’ve been yearning for. What I’m in search of. I just want to come home and have someone, anyone hug me so hard that I feel it. I feel the meaning behind it. I feel the love!!

I was to be able to exhale so hard that all my worries disappear. I want to feel all the emotions in this hug. I want to cry for no reason because I’m happy to have just received something so special.

Yes, I’m that simple. All I want is a hug. Sometimes that is all someone wants and no one sees or understands that.

I hug is a feeling of security. A feeling of admiration. A feeling of letting someone know you’re there for them.

I want to receive the same hug is gave my grandmother. The same jus I give my parents and siblings. I want to receive a hug with meaning.

Many say I give the best hugs and tonight I wish I could take myself out of my own body and hug myself. I wish I could feel one of my own best hugs.

If you haven’t yet today, give someone a hug with substance. A meaningful hug.


Lets try….

If women were to take on his role….

If women were to reverse the roles would it work?

Would a man enjoy a woman saying to him on their first conversation, “so you’re my man right??”

Would men be just as shocked as women hearing something like that? Or would men really enjoy the aggressiveness behind that conversation.

What if she came out and said to you, “I’m going to give you at least 3 babies.”

Would you jump and run away or would you sit there and continue to listen? Be honest!

As a woman, I’d laugh it off and continue the conversation not because I’m interested but because I am curious to hear what your next move will be. I am curious to see what nonsense can come out of a man’s mouth with only meeting a women for 5 mins.

Can a man truly predict and think that this is the caveman time where he can say, “you’re my woman” and it is so. No way!!

Unless the woman has no self respect. Come one guys step up your game. I know women can be difficult but in the end the difficult ones are the ones who are worth it. Why? Because they have morals and they have substance.

But hey, I do enjoy a good conversation of entertainment. Go ahead and tell me I’m your girl so I can try that line on a guy. Go ahead and tell me how many kids I’m going to have for you so I can reverse the roles and try it on him.

Will the reactions be the same??

Ladies, the best one is approaching a man and saying, “damn you fine as F***!” He’s not going to have any idea what to do with himself. Of he’s smart he’ll thank you and try to continue the conversation but they don’t.

If a man doesn’t initiate it he becomes intimidated by the power of the female. He’s still in shock by what you said and is still trying to regroup himself.

I’m always so curious when it comes to conversations so I enjoy listening and then I’ll truly ask them if those lines always work.

I’m not trying to mock the man. I am just interested as to why he would assume mentioning children, a title, and sex in the first conversation will entice someone.

So go ahead and approach me because I’m curious to hear what else you got. Then I’ll turn around and use it on him and see how he feels.

Blinded path.

You’re blind…. Walking blind in this world, unaware of your surroundings. Feeling weak and unaccomplished…. Every path you’ve taken you’re continuously stumbling or banging into a wall. It’s becoming a headache and a known routine that you can’t seem to shake…. Soon that “age” is going to creep up on you and you’re going to have that, should have, could have feeling about life…. Yet, you’re clueless about what those are because you’re blind. Life has become a blur and no matter how much you rub your eyes you still can’t see what is ahead of you…. It’s sad but true, you’re beginning to feel like a failure. As if everyone is continuing on without you and so,etching is gripping you back…. At that moment down to the ground you go…. On your knees with your head to the sky you pray…. Pray for guidance. Pray for forgiveness. Pray for a path towards a light where there are no road blocks. A path where you no longer stumble and you’ve found your peace…. After that prayer you give thanks because he’s listening and if there is anyone that won’t let you down it’s him…. You may still walk blind for a bit but as time moves forward life will also. Your eyes will begin to adjust and see what it is meant to see and be guided into the right direction…. A direction where fear is a no longer in your vocabulary. Where fear no longer exist in your body…. A direction of happiness and accomplishments…. Just pray.

You’re invited….

I invite you, anyone who crosses by my page to ask me whatever your heart desires.

Ask me what you’ve always wanted to ask someone. Or if you’re seeking advice tell me your story. I’ll answer it in full honesty…

I’m a bit curious as to what will be asked so here goes….

Ask away!!


On 4/20 I celebrated something greater than sitting around smoking a few blunts of marijuana. On 4/20 I declared my faith to the world and was baptized. I made a symbolic decision to let the world know where my faith and trust lies, with God.

I write about this because if ever you had a feeling of accomplishment it is always great to share because who know you might just inspire someone to do the same. That day was a spiritual feeling of accomplishments. If ever I felt I did something right being baptized was it! It is such a great feeling that if The Lord decided to take me today I would be ready. Yes, there is so much more I want to do with my life but this accomplishment has made my heart skip a beat. Has made me feel like no human or material object an ever make me feel.

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. (Romans 6:12 KJV)

I know that in the mean time it will be difficulty to change my habits but I’d rather walk by faith than by fear. I’d rather feel like my life has meaning than to just wither away without any purpose.

Born and raised a Roman Catholic I will always have respect for my Catholics. One might as why? I will tell them because my father is a Catholic and I will always have the upmost respect for my dad. He raised me right and I will always honor my father and mother.

I struggled for a long time before making this decision. I spoke to my family time and time again but something inside me told me where I belonged. The first time I entered that church my heart felt as if it was glowing! I felt at peace and as if I belonged there. If ever the chance I hope everyone in this world can feel what I felt. I hope everyone can feel the accomplishment I am feeling.

For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. (1 Corinthians 12:13 KJV)

So I say to everyone do as your heart and spirit desires because at the end of the day it is yourself whom you have to make happy. All that you do is between you and The Lord.

But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way. (1 Corinthians 12:31 KJV)

Away you go.

Walk away. It’s what you do best.

Ignore the situation. That is your specialty.

Pretend it never happened. There’s your motto.

Is there no heart within you? Are there no feelings?

Have events become so effective that you’ve become rock solid.

No longer a human with feelings, but a rock without emotions.

It’s best to just shut it all out so it doesn’t happen again you say.

But, is that how you truly feel?

Can you live the rest of your life with no emotion? Just going about it as if you no longer care.

“You’re going to end up hurting yourself.” Was all he said.

You hear but you don’t listen. Hoping that one day you can be human again.

For now remain a rock with no emotions and smile every once in a while.

Smiles always hide true emotions and you wear that smile well.